Popstars
by Henna Black
Summary: Popstars Harry Potter stylee! All our favourite characters, plus Nasty Nigel and Nicki! PLus we meet Darius's wizarding brother Cassius!


Popstars  
  
Thousands of hopefuls seeking stardom, but only five will make the final band. Who will get through? Over the next few weeks we will be travelling all over the world to all the Wizarding Schools to search for the five. The auditions will be held in Scotland at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  
  
And now, lets meet the judges.  
  
"Hi, I'm Nasty Nigel Lythgoe and I work for LWT."  
  
"Hi I'm Naughty Nicki and I manage Billie."  
  
"Hi I'm Chris and I'm a record producer."  
  
Now we've met the judges lets meet some of the hopefuls.  
  
"Bonjour. Je m'appelle Fleur Delacour. Je vais être un popstar!"  
  
"Hi, my name is Harry Potter, and I know I'm going to get into the band because I'm famous!"  
  
"Hello. I am called Viktor Krum. Vhy am I here? Because I vant to be a popstar!"  
  
And let the auditions begin!  
  
"Firstly, we'll hear a sample of everybody singing, then we'll narrow the contestants down to one hundred." Said Nasty Nigel.  
  
"Okay, first up is Cassius."  
  
"Hey, everybody, how much love is there in this room man?"  
  
"Hi Cassius, what are you going to sing for us?" asked Nicki.  
  
"I'm going to sing Baby one more time by Britney Spears." Said Cassius.  
  
"My loneliness, is killing me, and I, I must confess, I still believe! When I'm not with you I lose my mind! Give me a sign! Hit me baby," Cassius clicked his finger two times for effect, "one more time!!" Cassius sang the last note extremely high.  
  
Everybody gave him a round of applause and he bowed. Next up was Harry.  
  
"Hi Harry, what are you going to sing?"  
  
"Hi Nigel I'm going to sing Livin' La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin." And he began his performance.  
  
"She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain, she'll make you live the crazy life and she'll make you go insane. Like a bullet to your brain, come on! Upside, inside out, Livin' La Vida Loca, she'll push and pull you down, Livin' La Vida Loca," at this point, he took his shirt off and began to spin it around his head, "her lips are devil red, and her skins the colour mocha, she will wear you out, Livin' La Vida Loca!"  
  
Everyone applauded madly, and Harry bowed and took his seat.  
  
"Okay everyone, the next contender is Fleur Delacour."  
  
"Bonjour. I am going to sing Angels by Robbie Williams." She said, and she flung her silvery hair behind her shoulders and began to sing.   
  
"I sit and wait. Does an angel contemplate my fate. And do they know, the places where we go, when we're grey and old, cuz' I've been told, that salvation, lets ze wings unfold. And when I'm lying in my bed, thoughts running through my head. And I feel the love is dead. I'm loving angels instead."  
  
The crowd began to clap madly, enthralled by her perfect voice. Ron was staring at her with his mouth open, and Hermione hit him.  
  
The next person to audition was Draco Malfoy.  
  
He began his performance of Angels by Robbie Williams There were murmurs in the crowd that he had copied Fleur.  
  
"I sit and wait, does an angel contemplate my fate? And do they know, the places where we go, when we're grey and old, cuz I've been told, that salvation, lets the wings unfold-"  
  
"Stop, stop, stop!" Nigel shouted.  
  
"Do you actually know the tune of Angels?" he asked.  
  
"Isn't that the right tune?" Draco asked looking confused.  
  
"No! I don't even know why you bothered to sign up!"  
  
Draco began to cry, and went over to the corner to make a phone call to his mum.  
  
"And it isn't bloody fair! I mean I have talent and they don't! And everybody knows that Harry Potter'll get picked and I won't! Just because he's famous! It just isn't fair!" He was sobbing his heart out now. Everyone ignored him except Pansy, who came over to comfort him.  
  
By now it was lunchtime. Viktor Krum was having fun at the sandwich table.  
  
"I have just discovered that I like Tuna Fish sandviches." He said. (A/N does this give you a clue as to who he's supposed to be?)  
  
After lunch, Nasty Nigel made the announcements as to who was going to be staying for the next round of auditions. Now, they were down to one hundred.............  
  
  
  
  
Keep reading...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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I bet you thought the fic had finished, didn't you? Well, it hasn't.  
  
In the space between the lines: one hundred...... and I bet you..., the final fifteen were narrowed down. They were:  
  
Hermione Granger  
Harry Potter  
Eloise Midgen  
Fred Weasley  
Viktor Krum  
Cho Chang  
Angelina Johnson  
Cassius  
Fleur Delacour  
Vincent Crabbe  
Colin Creevey  
Ginny Weasley  
Hannah Abbot  
Justin Finch-Fletchley  
Terry Boot  
  
By now, it was time for the harmonies to begin. Nasty Nigel divided them into three groups of five and gave them pieces of parchment on which were the words to two songs. He told the first group to begin singing. And they did.  
  
"Bah-da bah-da-da-da-da  
Bah-da bah-da-da-da-da  
Bah-da bah-da-da-da-da  
  
Monday, Monday, so good to me  
Monday mornin', it was all I hoped it would be  
Oh Monday mornin', it was Monday mornin' couldn't guarantee  
That Monday evenin' you would still be here with me"  
  
The next group began to sing.  
"Like a bridge over troubled waters!"  
  
They were stopped halfway through, because it was time for the individual interviews to say whether they were staying or going.  
  
First up was Cassius.  
  
"Cassius. You have a wonderful voice, but your just not right for the band." Said Nasty Nigel.  
  
"Yeah, okay."  
  
"We're sorry, but we just don't think you're right for the final band." Said Nicki.  
  
"Hey, that's okay, but I am going to be a popstar. You'll see. By the time I'm thirty I'll have a double platinum record deal and a million pounds." Cassius said, and he walked out into the back room where everyone was waiting expectantly.  
  
"Guys, I didn't get in."  
  
"Oh no!" said Herm, and she began crying.  
  
"I can't believe how much love there is in this room, can you feel the love everyone?" and he sat down with his guitar and began to sing one of his own songs. Immediately Rita Skeeter was there, with the quill and writing down the headline: "Cassius Pain in the Assius!"  
  
Another four people had their interviews and then there were the final ten. They were:  
  
Hermione Granger  
Harry Potter  
Viktor Krum  
Cho Chang  
Eloise Midgen  
Fleur Delacour  
Colin Creevey  
Ginny Weasley  
Justin Finch-Fletchley  
Terry Boot  
  
These people went back to their dorms and awaited the judges to tell them the news.  
  
The judges sat at a table with photographs of the ten finalists in front of them They rearranged them a bit, and then Nigel said:  
  
"There. That's our band!"  
  
The next job was to go and tell them if they had made it and if they hadn't.  
  
Firstly they went to the Slytherin common room where Viktor Krum was staying.  
  
"Hi Viktor! How are you doing?" Nigel asked.  
  
"I am fine, thakyou Nigel." Said Viktor.  
  
"Viktor, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you're going to have to move out of this common room because you've made the band!" After a lot of screaming, Nigel left to go to the Gryffindor common room.  
  
Meanwhile, Nicki was in Ravenclaw's common room.  
  
"Terry, I'm happy to say that you haven't made the band. Cho, Fleur, Eloise, congratulations. You've made the band."  
  
There was no need to go to the Hufflepuff common room because no one form there had got through.  
  
In the Gryffindor common room, Nigel was saying.  
  
"Well done, Harry, Hermione, you're through into the final five." They screamed and an around incredibly happy.  
  
A few days later, Hermione was called to Nigel's office. She was in tears.  
  
"Hermione, did you really think that your having two little sisters would affect your chances of being in the band?"  
  
Hermione was sobbing.  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before." She broke down and hugged Nigel.  
  
The next day, Nigel visited their newly erected Popstar Prison.  
  
He spoke to the girls, Eloise in particular.  
  
"I know it's just been Christmas, but you really need to lose some weight."  
  
Eloise blew up at him, shouting and screaming, and he ran out of the house afraid.  
  
By the next week, they had come up with a name for the group. Tittle-Tattle. This has meanings of Hearsay and Gossip.  
  
Just one week later they were appearing at the Brits, singing their debut song, You're A Pimple.  
  
"And here they are with their brand new song, You're a Pimple, it's Tittle-Tattle!" said Ant McPartlin.  
  
"You've been saying  
I've been driving you crazy,  
And I haven't had any spot cream  
For you lately.  
But I got a few pimples on my face.  
  
I know I've been walking around in a daze (Baby, Baby)  
But you've gotta believe me when I say Oh, oh, oh.  
Wherever you go, spot'll be there  
Whatever you do, you know spots gonna be there  
Cuz' you're a pimple yeah yeah, it's gonna stay there  
You're a pimple it's gonna stay there!"  
  
And that was how Tittle Tattle was formed.  
  
A/N How awful was that? Written at 2 am in the morning after hearing Pure and Simple on the radio. Sorry 'bout any mistakes, can't be bothered to read through.  
  
The song pure and simple belongs to Hear'Say. The programme Popstars belongs to LWT television companies. Cassius was loosely based on Darius. No offence to him or anything.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Bah-da bah-da-da-da-da  
  
  



End file.
